Sabrina Krejci - A Life I Never Had

There is a version of me
that runs barefoot through tall grass,
laughing,
shoulders loose,
sun-warmed and untouched
by the weight I wake with every morning.

She lives somewhere I can’t touch
where no one raised their voice in rage,
where love wasn’t conditional,
where doors didn’t slam
and silence wasn’t punishment.
She sits at long tables,
surrounded by hands that reach without wounding,
voices that soften before they break.
She is held.

And I
I stand outside glass with my forehead to it and watch her smile, feel a hollow throb in my chest where something should have grown.

There are memories I don’t have
that still ache like bruises:
a birthday where someone showed up,
a body that was touched with tenderness,
a home where I was safe
to speak, to weep,
to want.

I mourn her like a death
that never had the dignity of burial.
I mourn her like a motherless child
aching for arms she never knew.
The grief has no grave,
just this endless throb
in the quiet hours
when no one is watching.

And no matter how far I get,
how much I heal,
there is always a corner of my heart
still pressed to that window,
watching her dance
in the golden light
of the life I never had.

From the Press:

In a life I never had, Sabrina Krejci writes with a rare honesty—tender, aching, and unrelenting. The piece is less a memory and more a mourning for what never came. Her words unravel slowly, revealing a portrait of trauma not through its violence, but through its absence: the laughter not heard, the softness never offered, the safety only imagined.

There’s something sacred in this grief. Sabrina doesn’t just name the loss, she dignifies it. This poem reads like a prayer held in the hands of someone who has lived without illusion, and still found a way to kneel in reverence.

About the Author:

Sabrina Krejci is a poet and practitioner devoted to nature and the Great Mother. She crafts heartfelt, soul-deep poetry and devotional prayers rooted in healing and reverence. Based in central Wisconsin, she lives with her partner and their dog Jet, tending the land, hiking, photographing, and honoring what is sacred in all things.

Where to Find:

@ritesofnature on Threads, Instagram, and Facebook